Want to Change Your Destiny?

by | Jul 22, 2022 | Freedom, Self Empowerment

By James Allard

We all likely have something about ourselves or our lives that we would like to change. Whether it’s our weight, our confidence, our poor choice of relationships, or maybe our job. Not that you are necessarily unhappy in your current shell, but there are always ways we can better ourselves, turn our dreams into goals and live our life how we envisaged it when we were but naïve children.

Well, the good news is there is little you need to know to make these changes. The bad news however, is that it isn’t necessarily going to be easy. In fact, it may be the hardest thing you’ll ever do, but just keep in mind it will probably be the best thing you ever did!

Stop Dreaming, Start doing

One thing many of us do is place our passions into the category of dreams, unreachable fantasies which one may ponder on at night, or while driving to your 9 to 5 job each morning. This is your first mistake. If you label these passions, these desires as merely ‘dreams’, well, that is all they will ever be – dreams.

Your dreams need to be your goals, things you strive for, things you ‘must have!’. Begin to make plans on exactly what it entails to make these now goals possible. Fully commit to your new found destiny and disallow anything or anyone to place doubts in your mind. Which takes us nicely to our next point.

“[Most people are] hedging their bets, creating several backup plans in case their dreams don’t quite work out. Ironically, they end up dedicating the majority to their backup plans, and that becomes their life.”

Benjamin P. Hardy

full Commitment – 100%

While this may seem obvious, in fact it’s not as simple as it sounds. The reason for this is that 98% commitment is not enough to succeed, you need 100% commitment to your newly appointed destiny. Anything less just might not cut it.

If you ‘re only 98% committed, then there will always be times when you make exceptions. This is a common problem found with those struggling with their weight. You decide to go on a strict diet, but decide that Sundays will be your day off, or maybe just keep the diet up until you’ve hit your target weight.

The problem here is that you’ll never let go of your old habit, which in this case is poor diet. Unless you can 100% commit, forever, no excuses, the potential of reversion to your old ways are almost inevitable.

So, you have your goal in mind, you now must commit to finding the path which will take you to that goal, no matter the obstacles that might lie before you. No excuses, no exceptions – 100% commitment.

The Point of no Return

Sometimes the best thing you can do is force yourself past the point of no return. What I mean by this is placing yourself into a position which you cannot go back on. For example, investing all your capital into inventory for that business you used to only dream about, or maybe quitting the dead end mundane job that you have been trapped in since what feels like forever to allow time to work on your goal.

By placing yourself into a position which can not be reversed, you are forced into the task at hand, reaching your goal. It certainly isn’t an easy place to be, but if you ask just about any successful entrepreneur whether they passed a point of no return, more than likely the answer will be that they did.

It is not a necessity for success, but more often than not it can be the tipping point towards reaching your success.

One of the greatest discoveries a man makes, one of his great surprises, is to find he can do what he was afraid he couldn’t do.

Henry Ford

Face Your Fears

It’s OK, we all have them. Whether it’s fear of confrontation, fear of public speaking, fear of the unknown, fear of making the first move towards someone you’re attracted to. While you may be happy avoiding situations which make you uncomfortable, if it’s something which will hinder your chances of reaching your goals, then it needs to be addressed immediately.

The best way to do this is first by placing yourself into situations you find potentially uncomfortable and people watch, see how other people interact and behave in this environment. How does a complete stranger introduce himself at a networking event? Watch, learn, and note the common opening introductions. You can also watch the reactions of others to see what seems to gain the most positive response and what fails miserably.

There are also plenty of resources online to help you with whatever insecurities and fears you may have, maybe you feel you lack charisma – well, there is a great channel on YouTube to help you out with just that at Charisma on Command. 

I’ve found over the years just placing myself into situations I’m uncomfortable with is the best way to learn to handle them better.

As a young adult, I was very fearful of answering telephone calls, so much so I would avoid it at all costs. So when the job came up in my current employment at the time for handling all service calls in the office, I made the obvious choice; I took it.

Within 6 months I’d often find myself with two phones on the go at the same time.

I was also very fearful of customer interaction, so the next job I took was based on the road, visiting customers all around the Country. Again, within months, I went from having to sit in the car outside the customer for 30 minutes trying to not hyper ventilate and catch my nerve, to not even batting an eyelid when arriving at customers. I faced my fears, and the fear slid away, then confidence moved in!

Focus & Develop Your Skillset

It’s likely you will be lacking in some skills required to reach your necessary goals, some of these may be as we discussed above, your social and communication skills, but it is likely you will require other, more practical skills like computer skills for example, or maybe some understanding of stock control and accounting. Exactly what skills you’ll require will depend on your goal. But once again just about any skill you need to learn or improve can be found quickly and easily online. It need not cost a penny, though sometimes a good book can speed up the process; but even that shouldn’t break the bank, well hopefully not.

I have self-taught just about every skill I have, from C++ Programming to Accounting and Music Production through to expressive writing – while I may be far from a master at any of these skills, having a broad range of skills at a good level is often more useful than having one or two skills at an exceptional level.

So make a list of the things you need to read up on and get swatting, don’t worry, it becomes addictive. In fact, if you’re like me you’ll get to a point where you need to let go a little. Over indulging in one particular area of your education beyond what is needed to reach your goal is unproductive and wasting time. So delegate your time wisely to all aspects of your new found mission in life.

There is No Time Like the Present!

It’s very easy and I’ve been guilty of this many times in the past, to decide that ‘I’ll start tomorrow’, but tomorrow comes and with it comes a whole set of new events and tasks and you realise you still haven’t begun to start working on paving the way to your new future.

You must take action immediately, no matter how small your initial effort is, do it. At the very least, make a list of the things you need to do to begin your new journey. Lists can be a very good way to order the process of what needs to be done, while motivating you to get them done. Make a list of things to do, tick them off one by one and once the list is complete simply make another.

I cannot stress this more though, you must begin right now as that tomorrow you tell yourself when you’ll begin, well, it’ll likely never arrive.

I really hope you found this post useful, if you have anything you’d like to share with our readers please use the comment in the section below – we’d love to hear your experiences.

We’ll leave you with this excellent TED presentation from Benjamin P Hardy:

Happiness is not something you postpone for the future; it is something you design for the present.

Jim Rohn

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