When I Did This, Everything Changed!

by | Mar 23, 2023

There are hidden forces that keep us trapped. Most are unaware of their existence, but for just about everyone, these forces are at play, dictating your life, every step of the way. 

What are these hidden forces and where do they come from?

From the moment of our inception, we are being carefully crafted by our environment. From the soft voice of our mamma talking to us in the womb, to the first sight of the greater world around us as we leave the womb. From that moment on, we are subjected to the conditioning program of the society we live in. This varies from culture to culture, but generally the program has the same purpose. To condition all new life as an active participant of the society they are a part of. 

The two strongest emotions are Love & Fear. Both have the ability to sway the actions of every man and woman on the planet. When we love something or someone, we would do just about anything to impress, protect and sustain the emotion. 

When we are fearful we would do anything in an attempt to alleviate that feeling of fear. 

To control society to act in a particular way, the emotion of fear is used over that of love. Why? Well, because fear is a catch all emotion. You can make just about anyone fearful of anything. Love on the other hand, isn’t so easy to manufacture in another. Love requires beauty, but also determining the behaviour of someone in love is far less predictable than one in fear. 

The forces I talk about are the emotional parameters of fear that are programmed into us by  society. While they are all part of the fear emotion, they can be broken down into other sub-emotions: embarrassment, nervousness, self-conscious, wary, scared, stressed and so on. Each one changing how we react to the world around us and determining the next step we make.

These parameters inhibit our ability to be the best we can be. They taunt us when we have great ideas, they niggle at us when we consider doing something different, something against the grain of society.

Now more than ever, people are chained to the whims and desires of the great machine as it continues to race ever further away from individuality and personal freedom and ever closer to a communist global collectivism. Fitting in with the Jones’ is the name of the game, and most people love to play!

I think Irvine Welsh articulated this best in his book ,Trainspotting:

“Choose Life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a fucking big television, choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players and electrical tin openers. Choose good health, low cholesterol, and dental insurance. Choose fixed interest mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends. Choose leisurewear and matching luggage. Choose a three-piece suit on hire purchase in a range of fucking fabrics. Choose DIY and wondering who the fuck you are on Sunday morning. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing, spirit-crushing game shows, stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pissing your last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked up brats you spawned to replace yourselves. Choose your future. Choose life…”

The life led by the majority, the average, the ‘normie’ or whatever the hell you want to name this predominant group of people in society is not by choice, it’s how life pans out if you let the great machine of society have its wicked way with you. It is shall we say, ‘Life by default’. 

I led that life, for a time at least – it isn’t unpleasant, it isn’t terrible, but neither is it wondrous or exhilarating. 

Then everything changed…

I’ve always been an odd-ball, and prior to adulthood I was anything but ‘normal’, however when you are surrounded by normality, it very often gets a hold of you and chains you to it. My first marriage was when this happened to me. I did ‘choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a fucking big television, choose washing machines…’, I was keeping up with the Jones’. Slowly, but surely weighing my life down with responsibility and burdens purely driven by the expectations of society, rather than my dreams and desires. 

By the time I reached my mid-twenties, I began recalling the mind of my adolescent self. The atypical me. Largely driven by the excess time I had on my own as the relationship between myself and my wife at the time deteriorated. Over a period of about 6 months, I found my younger me again. I found wonderment and awe with the world once again. 

Some would call this a ‘mid life crisis’, and maybe in a way that is exactly what a ‘mid-life crisis’ is. The realisation that you’ve led a vast portion of your life without really living at all. Is this it? What happened to the magic of life I felt so strongly as a child?

Lucky for me, 26 years of age wasn’t exactly ‘mid-life’

Over the next few years I got divorced, lost my house, my job and everything else I had come to know. But, I did slowly but surely rebuild myself. I read more; I explored more; I wondered more; I questioned more. That awe of the world was returning. In time I met my now wife, and both of us continued the journey together in finding a way out of ‘the trap’ and into the wonder of the world. 

I’ll be honest, something that really pushed me on to break free of the matrix was Bitcoin. In its early days, bitcoin was not considered an investment, it stood for something. Bitcoin represented an opposition to everything that was wrong in the world. It offered hope and freedom through decentralization and sound money. Bitcoin was the middle-finger to the all elusive ‘them’. 

It wasn’t long before the  final burden upon our backs was eradicated. The mortgage, council tax, water rates, credit card debts and everything else that comes with being boxed in like cattle outside of the wealthy class. It was time to leave the Jones behind. It was time to hit the road, Jack – and rest assured we won’t come back no more (no more, no more… no more! ♫♫)

And we didn’t. We broke the universally agreed upon rule of domestication in the west. After all, everyone knows that ‘you can’t just live in a campervan and live wherever the hell you want, that’s, that’s, criminal! Isn’t it?’ 

OK, so if you are a traveller or gypsy, fine – that’s allowed, they may live however they want. But just a family, with kids and dogs and cats. A family that isn’t gypsy, a family that doesn’t seem to tick any of the boxes required to make living in such a way acceptable. 

When people ask where I live and I tell them, I see their eyes glaze over in what I think must be some kind of shock and bewilderment, I continue to talk to them about it and the shock turns to wonder. You can see the realization come over them. Baring in mind, more often than not, this is conversations I’m having with paying customers; customers paying me £50 – £100 per hour for engineering works or technical help and advice relating to website and networks. Parasite layabouts sponging off the state,  we are not; stoner hippies, we are not; part of a travelling circus, we are not; part of a gypsy community, we are not. 

We tick no boxes, people are unsure where to place us in the mental societal hierarchy they have built and secured up tight in the minds. ‘Where abouts do they go on the pyramid?’ – We don’t go anywhere, we left the pyramid and decided to explore the vast lands around it! 🙂

Now, I’m by no means saying we’ll never live in a house again, but the trappings of society no longer affect me. Once you’ve broken all the rules and burnt the checklist, you are free forever if you so wish!

Now I’m ready

It is only when you have lost all those inhibitions that society embeds in to you from a young age, that you can really begin to pursue your dreams. 

When you understand that people generally are just like you, they feel the trappings of society, they think about throwing it all in and heading for the hills as well, when you realize this you begin to understand that it’s ok. If you are a kind, caring and considerate soul, you will be liked and loved whatever you do. 

I find conjuring up business easier than ever before. I throw myself into new ventures and opportunities without any consideration whatsoever on whether or not it might make me uncomfortable. Yeah, I get nervous and anxious at times, but this is just because I want to do the best I can do at any given task. But, if I screw up – hell, i’m only human, practice makes perfect, or at least, one step closer to perfect!

Now I’m ready to face the world and you know what, it’s beautiful!   ❤️

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Suzanne Hennig
Suzanne Hennig
1 year ago

Great stuff